Ah Help!

“Ah help! I can’t do this!”

This seems to be a common phrase to make an appearance in my complicated thought processes!  I constantly seem to find myself in situations where I feel completely out of my depth!

But why?

Sometimes I just think I have a real talent for sniffing out trouble and landing myself in the middle of it. Other times I wonder if I just don’t have what it takes to do what other people can do. Mostly I put it down to a lack of skill and intelligence.

Growing up, I was always quiet and shy. Very rarely did I speak up, and standing out from the crowd was a real fear of mine! In every sense of the word I was born to be a ‘follower’.

Not at any point did I entertain any ideas of grandure! The word ‘leader’ would bring me out in a cold sweat and no one would dream of imposing it on me as it was clear to everyone, me and leadership just didn’t go together…. And I was totally fine with that!

it wasn’t a lack of I drive or ambition, I had plenty of that, it just wasn’t for me so what was the point in being where my strengths were not called upon..

Until now…

There seems to be a person fighting their way out of me that I didn’t even know was there! She even had the audacity to show up when I didn’t want her to and without any formal introduction!

So now I am left trying to reconcile these two polar opposites (any tips on that would be gratefully received!)

On a daily basis, I am arguing with myself and trying to figure out how leadership can fit within my personality type because it really isn’t obvious to me…. Is it just me?

In a recent deep thinking moment (there are lots) I had a thought… What if feeling unqualified and unprepared isn’t a bad thing? What if it was a tangible sign of how far we are pushing ourselves? What if we could stop fighting and hiding these thoughts and see them as a positive instead?

If thoughts of being out of my depth, faking it and unqualified are frequent, should I see that as an inadequacy or should I celebrate the fact it most probably means I am pushing myself beyond what is comfortable?

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think there has ever been any incredible achievements accomplished from the comfort of a familiar worn out arm chair….

I think I will stick with some mild panicked moments rather than settle down with a book of how other people made it!

Just take one more little step

I don’t know about you but I feel like New Years can be a huge pressure to make change.  As an idealist, (or maybe even a fantasist at times), I feel I should have a whole heap of resolutions and step by step plans as to how to achieve every single one within the next four weeks!  That’s a lot of disappointment waiting to happen!  The way I am wired means the only resolutions I think are worth considering are the grand gestures played out Hollywood – style in my mind’s eye!  Then my notorious impatience and stubbornness comes into play and I want it all done now, no mistakes along the way! If any of them get left undone…well, that’s a lot of back whipping to be done!

Don’t get me wrong,  as a Life Coach I can totally see the benefits of knowing your dreams and goals.  Not just knowing what they are but seeing them in completion, hearing, smelling tasting them.  It is proven that people who plan each step very specifically are the ones that are most likely to reach their desired destination.

But…how does that translate to someone like me?  A person with a lot of drive and determination, wanting to get to that goal but seeing too much of the big picture leaves me confused and overwhelmed. The feeling of being overwhelmed can be all consuming and often leads to giving up.  Giving up on moving forward, giving up on dreams, maybe even giving up on life.  I am slowly learning that yes, plan those steps and know where you are headed, because without that you will drift. BUT in carrying out these big resolutions, concentrate on that first little manageable step that is right in front of you.

Just put the next foot forward…

Just take one more little step!